Okay, I confess...

I learn more and more about myself daily. Who would have thought at my age, I'm half way to 88 and still do not really know myself. My husband actually knows me, better than I know myself. I don't think it is a conscious thing, but I do tend to live life blindly, for me life is a blurred line. There are so many ways that I need to improve in myself, for one thing, I tend to let little minor things get under my skin and I can be a bear to be around. That is the thing I like the least about myself, I have never been my own biggest fan either, I now have someone who is my biggest fan, my wonderful and loving husband. With his help, I am learning to be a better person, and who knows, maybe soon I will be able to say that nothing gets under my skin.

I titled this blog "Okay, I confess" because, well, that is something I say fairly often. From telling my husband I wore one of his shirts to work, to spilling milk, I am the queen of guilt, and drama, my mother raised me with a healthy dose of guilt trips, she still on occasion sends me off packing on one. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother dearly, but I do not think I would be my own worst critic had I not always felt as if I had failed her. I still to this day feel like that way. My oldest sister passed away almost 9 years ago and I have often felt that my mother lost the wrong child. I never really accomplished much in my life, I never tried to excel at anything, always been happy with just being average, never pushed myself in school to learn more, never pursued higher education in part because I was afraid of math, and in part because I was afraid of failing, and....well...I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Enter, one, highly educated, loving and loyal man, and who did he fall in love with....me....heaven help him.